From Nox To Mon Soleil

To Mon Soleil,

There's really no other way 

Of expression that i know

All my tears have been crimson

All my smiles fading mist

I have loved you deeply 

Just not in a way you can see 

My dear love, you're mon soleil

You don't realize,

What you are to me

My last leap of faith, baby

You're my only medicine,

I am a headache most times

All i have known is goodbyes

But you make me believe in 

A love that lasts till we die 

Forgive me for it all

The way pain is draped all over me

The most painfully perfect picture

That's what i look like

When i am busy not showing it 

I really have lost my strength, 

You own the last of this love 

The worst of me, all my flaws too

I dont know what you want

From an empty someone like me

I have nothing to give, 

I am no good, dont think I'll ever be 

And all these motivational lines

Sometimes they just seem fake

And i lose my will to hold on and live

There will be times when all i can do 

Is apologize constantly, 

Its okay if you are annoyed, 

Everyone before you has been

And i know it's always me

There's some invisible fault i cant see

My mother asked me a few days ago

Why don't you write anymore? 

And i said, because i only write in pain

Tonight i feel completely devastated

I havent lost anything at all

Because i feel i dont have myself anymore

And if i dont have myself, nothing else i own

I wonder where that girl has gone

I often miss her, when i look at the sky

Every tear i cry doing so, is realization

Of who i just lost.. 

Losing someone is heartbreaking 

Losing myself feels like the end of the world

Simply put, all my words mean

I am broken and i think I'll always bleed

Despite my best attempts to not let it be seen.

Yours forever,

Nox. 

// Mon soleil means my Sun; Nox means night//